WORK

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Identify the reasons why you want to stand up for yourself. Knowing your ultimate objective will help you tailor your approach to the situation. If you want to change your working hours so you can take your children to school, for example, understand that being available for your children is the key, not simply convincing your boss to change the schedule.

Schedule a time to discuss the situation. If modifications need to be made, either with the demands placed upon you by your boss or with your interactions with a co-worker, avoid surprising the other party by dropping in on him to chat. An appointment will ensure you are both focused on the issue at hand.

Maintain a professional and non-confrontational tone. The ultimate objective is to succeed in achieving your goal; it is not necessary to create further conflict or damage a working relationship that you must maintain into the future. Choose your words carefully and avoid placing blame or complaining.

Provide solutions to the problem and use concrete information to back up your suggestions. If you want to reschedule a regular, early morning meeting so you can bring your children to school, for example, suggest scheduling the meeting for early afternoon instead. Back up your suggestion by stating that not only will the change allow you to take your kids to school, you also are more focused in the early afternoon after you have been able to catch up on phone calls and emails.

Expect to negotiate. The solutions you provide may not work for everyone involved; remember, your boss has to balance the needs of the organization as well as your personal preferences. When you offer solutions, express confidence and self-assurance, but state you are also committed to furthering the needs of the company and are also open to hearing other ways of solving the issue.

Many thanks to DemandMedium and the Houston Chron. for their excellent advice.